I’m All Thumbs

In my teenage years I considered myself a bit of a klutz.  I fell down pretty easily (and regularly) and I always had a story about why I was bruised, scraped, or bleeding.  I thought I had grown out of that phase when there were fewer instances of bruises, scrapes, and falls.  That’s why it was so disappointing when, last weekend, I chopped a big part of my thumb pad off while chopping an onion.  It is so disheartening to figure out that maybe I am still a big ‘ol klutz and maybe the reason I don’t have to explain away my mishaps is because I don’t put myself in harm’s way as often as I used to.

As I thought over some of my adventures in the last year, I realized that I have not stopped hurting myself.  Instead I just have bigger adventures less frequently.  For example, this Spring I went surfing in Brazil.  My husband, who is less athletic but seemingly more coordinated than I, stood up on the board instantly.  He also figured out how to get off the board before the next wave took him out.  I, on the other hand, learned how to boogie board on by surf board really well before ever standing up.  In fact, our surf instructor even told me that the steps I was taking to learn to surf were the same that they use to teach fat people.  I got tossed in so many waves that my hip bones were bloodied and my body was black and blue from being dragged across the sandy bottom.  The only good part about all of it was that my husband thought it was hot.

In reflecting over other adventures, I realized that every Fall for the last 5-ish years has included some kind of mishap with a finger.  This big thumb chop came almost exactly one year after a major finger break that resulted in six screws and a plate.  I did that while I was hiking Mt. Timpanogas with a girlfriend.  A couple of years before that, I sliced the outside edge of my pinky off at a Fall BBQ with my cross-country team.

What do I have to show for all of this?  Not much.  I am ambidextrous in some activities (like brushing my teeth and eating).  I can do dishes with one hand.  Oh!  I can’t forget that I’ve gotten good at telling my dog to leave me alone, which may or may not be from my klutziness but has certainly been perfected by it.  The ironic part?  In being all thumbs, I ended up a bit chopping off a bit of one of them.

Prevent the Re-run:  Think about the seasons over the last few years.  Any traditions that you wish you could abandon?  No traditions?  Try using your non-dominant hand for a week.  That will definitely keep the monotony at bay.


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