Something that Scares Me

In an unusual bought of body confidence, I chose to wear this as my top to yoga this morning. It has been sitting, along with its non-identical twin, in my underwear drawer for over a year. I purchased these yoga bras on Black Friday in 2012 when I justified the purchase, thinking, “It is such a great deal and I have always wanted to be one of those girls who can pull off a bra at yoga class. And this one fits so great!” For a year it has been haunting me in the back of the drawer, begging to be used or given away.

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As a part of my New Year’s Resolutions, I have vouched to do things that scare me. I know that a lot of people set and never keep resolutions but I am doing mine The Happiness Project style where I have a chart of things that I would like to do each day. Then each night when I hit the hay, I pull up the spreadsheet and hold myself accountable by checking them off. So instead of a resolution like “No Cavities!” my resolution is to “Brush Twice a Day.” Similarly, instead of a goal like, “Meet my Potential” I have a resolution to “Do Something that Scares Me.” This one doesn’t have a nightly check off but is still on my list to remind me to do things that are hard.

Today, wearing that bra top was the challenge. Every time I stand in front of the mirror to examine my weaknesses/strengths, I am haunted by the saying, “you wear in public what you eat in private.” I always think that exercising in skimpies will allow others to judge me for my diet shortcomings. Furthermore, I have thought that worrying about what others think will distract me from being able to practice. Not today. I stepped into class, introduced myself to the gal next to me (fulfilling another of my resolutions), and after warming up, confidently stripped my long sleeve off and finished my hot yoga class with my midsection fully bare and open for judgement.

You wouldn’t believe what happened, I completed the practice without thinking another time about my body weaknesses or judging myself. Instead I took care of my body and loved it for what it is: 5 pounds around the waist, short hamstrings, plantar fasciitis, and fully functional.

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